How to Roll with a Female (Continued)
Back in December 2017, we posted a blog about how to roll with a female. Given the circumstances that I recently experienced, I feel this subject needs to be revisited again, as I think more females experience these issues more than they care to complain about or bring to the attention of their professor. However, rather than giving tips to guys on how to roll with a female (because we already did this), I think it’s more important for women to know how to deal with the guys who don’t know how to roll with us.
Yes, Jiu-Jitsu is a male dominated sport, we get it. Granted, there are definitely more females training BJJ than ever before. Thus, it only makes sense to adapt to your training partners… or at least you’d think…
Most higher belt females can tell before or during the start of a roll, how it’s gonna go… whether the dude we’re rolling with is trying to throw his d**k around to show us who’s the boss by using strength more than the technique they don’t have or if we’re gonna have a fun, technical and scrambly roll. In our own academy, we already know who we like rolling with and who we don’t. But when you drop in to train at another academy or when others visit our academy, that’s when things can escalate pretty quickly.
So ladies, here’s some tips for dealing with a dude that is trying to manhandle you on the mat:
Just say no. If you are unsure about rolling with someone you don’t know or someone that you don’t really want to roll with, it’s TOTALLY FINE to say no. After all, this one roll may be the difference between you staying safe and uninjured.
Communicate. If you don’t feel comfortable in a position or if the guy just tried to rip a submission on you that could have hurt you, say something. What you say and how you say it, that’s entirely up to you. But this is also a time where you have the opportunity to opt out of the roll. I know that sometimes emotion and ego get the better of us, but sometimes it’s better to say something than not and risk getting unintentionally hurt by someone who doesn’t give AF if you’re smaller, a female, or whatever because they just want to “win.”
Make eye contact with the instructor/professor who is walking around. I’ve learn to do this over the last year or so. Perhaps it’s because I watch too much murder shows on the ID Channel… but this has actually helped me exponentially. If I’m rolling with a spazzy guy who is using more strength than technique – even though he is the same rank as me or higher – I always make sure to get the attention of the instructor/professor that is walking around to make sure people don’t roll into each other. This gets me more attention during the roll, meaning that professor will be more watchful over what is happening and often times they will have a chat with that person after class on how they should use more technique than rolling with a female. Or they’ll get them for the next roll and smash them.
The fact of the matter is this: If you, Mr. Jiu-Jitsu can try to beat up a female on the mat and then roll nicely with a kid that is the same size as that female you just rolled with – tread lightly. Because chances are, someone was watching you bully a female and they can’t wait to have their way with you. Sometimes people need to learn the hard way… and sometimes the mat reveals more truth than people care to admit, which is a much harder pill to swallow.